Boundaries~

I have been reading this book about boundaries and the need for them in our lives and how the cause and effect of our childhood, either nurtures or shatters our ability to enforce them in our present adult lives.

Looking back on my childhood, I am beginning to see that these lessons were never taught. I was a lone ranger on my own, left out to meet the bears and wolves on my own and befriend them. A mother who abandoned, because of fear, and pain and self loathing depression and a father who did the same, in a different way, but treated his first born son like the heir to his masculine throne.

With no one protecting, rabid animals had easy prey and silently and secretively stole what wasn't theirs, like rabbits in a farmers field.

I have lived a boundaryless life, and have been fighting so hard and trying so hard to keep people loving me. I am exhausted now though,. it is time to live again. It feels like learning to breathe differently, and walk differently,.. and essentially, it is.